Home
/
Unlabelled
/
24 Tweets By Women That Are All Funny, No Filler And Guaranteed To Make You Laugh
24 Tweets By Women That Are All Funny, No Filler And Guaranteed To Make You Laugh
1.
Men who aren't ur bf: what kind of a fool doesn't massage & oil their girlfriend three hours a day
Men who are: hey can you fetch me the remote it's under my own ass
2.
can you imagine how hot we all would have seemed like 600 years ago
3.
Every female chef on Chef's Table: "Food is an expression of love and I want to nourish the world"
Every male chef on Chef's Table: "I was a bad little boy until I went to kitchen army"
4.
other girls wearing low ponytails: smart, classy, professional, beautiful
me wearing a low ponytail: will turner in pirates of the caribbean
5.
[shoving glitter glue and felt pens back into my bag, visibly upset] ok look all I'm saying is maybe you guys shouldn't have called it a 'craft brewery' because people are gonna get the wrong idea and lemme tell you Karen this has been a big let down
6.
MEN: we're gonna stop flirting at work and giving unasked-for hugs
WOMEN: great
MEN: wait, no, you don't understand, those were threats
7.
You ever send ya man a funny meme & he say he already saw it..like wow u laughed at it & didnt think that maybe I wanted to laugh too wow ok
8.
Women: Dear men, please treat us with respect
Too many men: FINE, I GUESS I'LL NEVER SPEAK TO A WOMAN AGAIN EVER
9.
Being a straight man on instagram is easy heres coffee and a book. The book is by david foster wallace. Or michael chabon. The caption is “catching up with an old friend” so you know I have read this book before— long ago. Long before u even had heard of “ a book”
10.
woman: [makes joke]
man: okay you do realise this is INCORRECT? let me explain
11.
Uterus: Look! I put up the wall paper for the new baby!
Body: yeah... There isn't a baby. Not this month.
Uterus: ...
Body: please dont...
Uterus: You do this all the time These false alarms. IM DONE. I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE. *Rips down wall paper*
-The menstrual cycle
12.
Really happy they labelled which toothbrush covers are for men so I don't accidentally kill my husband, who is allergic to colours.
13.
my face without makeup at home: glowy, fresh, fading acne scars
my face without makeup in the mirror of a public toilet: looks like i have recently died of the bubonic plague after not sleeping for 5 years
14.
[me as a DJ]
Where my single ladies at?
*drunk responses*
This one's for you
*turns off music, serious tone*
This is a bad place to meet men
15.
16.
"LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE." commands the small cushion. You whisper "I'm trying" but that only makes it angrier
17.
Dudes make fun of girls for duck face yet all their selfies look like the last known footage of them
18.
Your MCM thinks texting “WYD” and “how’s work” ten times a day is getting to know you. he’s 31.
19.
20.
hey it's me, your friend who ignores everything going on in the group text and then chimes in every six days with a single "omg"
21.
If female writers wrote characters of the opposite sex like male writers do
22.
23.
I just wish white men could stop talking to me at this point
24.
literally just saw a 10 year old girl wearing a shirt with sparkles that said "doing my best" fucking same bitch where'd you get that
24 Tweets By Women That Are All Funny, No Filler And Guaranteed To Make You Laugh
Reviewed by NEW4TOPICS
on
2:27 PM
Rating: 5
No comments: